Saturday, January 16, 2010

Clearest, starkest brilliance #1: When Randy Bachman held my heart

Harriet is pictured here in her very early days, back when a moment of daytime peace was worth a photo for posterity. But lately, actually, I've been thinking of a certain moment of nighttime peace, when Harriet was about five days old.

For the first few weeks of her life (how long exactly doesn't matter, suffice it to say, it was an eternity), we had to wake her every three hours for feeding, as she'd not yet returned to her birthweight. (This was when I was reading Tom's Midnight Garden and "Only the clock was left, but the clock was always there, time in, time out.") And once the alarm went off, we'd leave the radio playing while we fed her, and so we discovered that CBC at night subscribes to programs by other public broadcasters. The Australian Broadcasting Corporation at 1:00am, and 4:00am would be Swedish, and something uptight and BBC close to the morning.

This one night in particular was not so late, however, and I remember waking up to Randy Bachman's Vinyl Tap. So there we were, up with our baby daughter in this weird, wide world that was the size of our bedroom's four walls and we hadn't thought outside of it in five whole days, which might have been a lifetime (and they were). So that, in effect, Randy Bachman was coming at us from the farthest reaches of outer space.

Fittingly, his show that night had a stars and planets theme, and Canada felt very small as Randy's wife Denise introduced the next track, by Randy's son Tal. Surprisingly, it was not "She's So High", and Denise reported that she'd always felt so envious of Tal's talent. And then after that they played music that wasn't by anyone related to Randy Bachman, which I think was "Blue Moon"(and according to the program log, I'm remembering this in the wrong order, but that doesn't change the way it was). They played "Good Morning Starshine", and we marvelled at the lyric "Gliddy glub gloopy, Nibby nabby noopy, La la la lo lo." It was midnight, but it might as well have been the middle of the night, and the baby was sucking sustenance out of a tube stuck to my husband's finger, but anyway, we were happy.

But no more so than when they played "Little Star" by the Elegants. Our own peculiar lullaby, to which we found ourselves relaxing for the first time in days. Twinkle, twinkle to a doo-wop beat, and the moment was so beautiful, it shone. We were a family. And I wouldn't take back any of the awfulness of those early days, if I had to give that song back with it, and what it was like to be listening, and finally not anxious, and to be connected, in touch with a calm, blissful world.