Thursday, November 12, 2009

Horizontal Parenting

I am very excited about the Parenting Method I have devised, and subsequent book I am going to self-publish about my Parenting Method (via My method is called Horizontal Parenting, and I've been practicing it for about six months now. Its core tenets are the five Ls-- 1) Lie down to breastfeed, 2) Lie down to soothe your crying babe by gently rocking your hips, 3) Lie down to have your baby sleep on your chest (contrary to everything the Back to Sleep people will tell you), 4) Lie down to play with your baby-- a popular game is lying on one's back and throwing a soft ball up to the ceiling again and again. The fun never stops. 5) Take time every day for yoga practice-- but only the savasana pose. (This last tenet doesn't start with L, but that's because it's the exception that proves the rule.)

The jury's still out on the advantages of horizontal parenting on child development, but my child seems to be developing fairly normally (save for her new, disturbing penchant for pinching the fat on my upper arms). For me, however, the advantages are multifold-- I never have a sore back, I get to sleep at night (albeit sometimes uncomfortably on my side), I get to lie on the couch and read or nap frequently throughout the day, and I get many opportunities to breathe in the sweet smell of my baby daughter's head.

As soon as I figure out how to cook dinner from a hammock, then I will really claim to have it all figured out.